What About Socialization?

Will My Homeschool Child be a Social Outcast?

Many parents as well as students are often concerned about the socialization factor when considering homeschooling. Parents sometimes feel their children might miss out on the social contact or interaction between students in a traditional school setting. However, some see the possibly detrimental side to today’s public school system. So many children find themselves and their studies actually suffering due to social complications that would not exist in a homeschool setting.

Socialization: The S Word

The pressures to fit in and to succeed are very powerful to children, and when the seal of approval comes from outside the child and not from his or her own sense of achievement, an important element of self-trust, of knowing inside when something is right or true or good or valuable, may be compromised.

My objection to the social life of almost all schools . . . is that it is for the most part mean-spirited, competitive, ruthless, snobbish, conformist, consumerist, fickle, heartless and often cruel. Most children come out of school with far less self-esteem, less sense of their own identity, dignity and worth than they had when they went in.

John Holt, in Growing Without Schooling

Being out in the world engenders in children a sense of reality. They see what goes on all day in the business of life, and where they fit in. They see how adults manage day-to-day details and long-range plans, and they learn to handle and accept the balance of success and failure, of struggle and recreation.

Children recognize their value to the community as they do their part to contribute, and they understand the role of the community in their own lives, as a resource and support. Perhaps of most importance are the opportunities simply to spend time with people of all ages, experience and points of view. One fascinating aspect of the society described in The Continuum Concept is that the children, included from infancy in the business of the village, have a smooth transition into adulthood without what has come to be accepted as the universal truth of adolescence: rebellion.

The vast majority of children are segregated in school by age (leaving aside the obvious fact that by virtue of their geographical location and economic background, they are also usually segregated by race, culture or class). They spend a large proportion of their waking time learning from, competing with and being compared to each other, jockeying for position among their peers and approval from their teachers. The pressures to fit in and to succeed are very powerful to children, and when the seal of approval comes from outside the child and not from his or her own sense of achievement, an important element of self-trust, of knowing inside when something is right or true or good or valuable, may be
compromised.

So many children find themselves and their studies actually suffering due to social complications that would not exist in a home school setting.

The other regrettable byproduct of this system is the Us versus Them mentality it fosters. Think about it. There are the cool kids and there are the dweebs, dorks and losers. And the brains sometimes by choice, sometimes by proclamation are rarely part of the in-crowd. It’s our class against their class and the students versus the teacher. The big kids versus the little kids. And, of course, kids versus parents. This lays some pretty effective groundwork for an worldview attitude of my beliefs versus theirs, my people versus yours.

– Victoria Wright, The Mining Company (Summary)

Worried About Social Activities?

If you’re considering homeschooling but are worried about your child’s social development, you’ll soon find that your community is full of resources where homeschooled children interact with other kids. Just for starters, there’s the YMCA or YWCA, local community centers and sports teams, Boys & Girls Clubs, church or synagogue groups, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, Camp Fire and coordinated activities with other homeschooled kids.
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